Grow your own frosted glass

Sugar frosted privacy

Enjoy a tasty new 'acid etched' look to your balcony. (Please note you should take a good look at the view before using this recipe as you won't be seeing it again for a while...)

Ingredients:

• 1 x glazed in balcony
• 1 x micro-sauna
• Water
• 1-2 x humans
• Seasoning: baste with beer or cider to taste

Instructions:

1. Chill glazed balcony to around -15 to -20°C (if you can't fit yours in the freezer you may need to relocate to, say, Helsinki in the winter which has an over-abundance of apartment blocks with said items)
2. Pre-heat ridiculous micro-sauna to 70-90°C for 20 mins. If you don't have a micro-sauna an ordinary sized one will work fine (or as some would say, far better), although you should pre-heat for up to an hour.
3. Place humans in sauna. You may need to do this one at a time if you are using the stupidly small micro-sauna. Add water as necessary to give the bodies a good löyly - this may take between 2 and 20 minutes depending how well done you like them.
4. Quickly move the steaming bodies to the balcony - wrapping them in towels is usually recommended.
5. Allow to rest, occasionally basting with your choice of beverage.
6. After about 5-10 mins repeat stages 3-5 until a satisfactory layer of frost is achieved.
7. Rinse humans and store carefully for future use.